reflecting
Last night was U2 with the fam. It was a lot of fun...ended up going to bed at 3:30 and accidentally waking at 5:30 bc I forgot to take daylight savings into consideration when setting chad's cell alarm clock....but i just left then for sherman bc it was too late to get more sleep. so after this morning i fell asleep at around 2AM and JUST now woke up. when i woke up, it was dark, and it totally threw me off. it really could have been 3AM or 7:30PM (which it was) as far as i was concerned. im STILL feeling thrown-off.

something cool happened last night: i dreamt in spanish!! doesnt that mean im a lot closer in my quest for fluency???? in the dream, i think i hada conversation with one of the janitors at AC en espanol - dont remember what was exchanged, just that i had perfect grammar and understood everything!!! (sounds like a dream, doesnt it?) i cannot wait to go to spain next fall. every time i think about my future or "what-i-want-to-do-when-i-get-out-of-college", i consider how spain will change my outlook and available life-plan idea pool, and i stop thinking about it. ive learned in general actually that i neednt worry about my future too much....because looking back, the majority of my most influential life decisions and experiences have happened accidentally or have fallen into my lap. for instance - and im not saying these have been the most important, just that they're good examples - 1.) getting into austin college. id applied to many schools, was not worrying about it too much, and ulitmately let my leadership institute scholarship make the decision for me. easy as peach pie. and here's another one from way back - 2.) making music corp. decided the night before because id stumbled across some old sheet music. what else...oh, spain. pretty much, the decision as to which country to study in was decided for me in that they have better psych programs than other spanish-speaking countries - and that's reason enough for me. the university of malaga has classes in consumer psychology, environmental psychology, and other ones whose textbooks i might actually ENJOY reading, even in spanish. and spain itself, as i hear, kicks ass, so im in luck!! god i cant wait. this is one of those things i am doing solely for ME, only ME, and it feels good.

and on the flip side - it seems that when i ruminate over decisions too much, they either fall through or don't happen or whatever. so no worries.